21/1/2007 - Haz's Word - 003

Don’t hate me because I’m better than you. Hate me because everyone else thinks so too.

For the second weekend in a row I was woken prematurely to take someone to work, this week it was my mum. She won’t be asking me again because I scared her shitless by going down the A34 at 110mph. I slowed down to 90 when I went through red lights though as I am a safe driver.

Upon returning home, I watched Soccer AM, one of only two programmes on TV that doesn’t make me vomit uncontrollably. My dad was sat there tutting because he wanted to read the newspaper, I told him he should read his newspaper elsewhere. To drive the point home I set his chair on fire. Moral victory for Haz.

I then had to go to work as Sale Sharks were playing. Now, I hate rugby as much as the next straight man, but it’s the fans that really piss me off. They stand around and drink in a beer tent, then they wander around to the turnstiles about 5 minutes before kick off and are surprised when there’s a queue. What do they expect? An open gate where they can just walk in without having been checked if they had paid? Bunch of cunts.

Also at work I learnt that someone from our office had retired so I volunteered to take some his stuff back to him. I got about £50 for it on the market. Well, when I say £50, I actually got £20 from the bloke and I stole £30 from an old woman. Bonus.

I went to the pub in the evening. After about an hour, some bloke came in and set up some speakers because he was going to be doing some singing. I told him he sounded like Elvis, but for some reason he took this as a compliment rather than the intended insult. Retard.

It snowed on Sunday, all these kids were playing in the road. It was great target practice. I rule.

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