15/2/2007 - Haz's Word - 006

Hypocrisy is the homage that vice pays to virtue. What does this mean? I have no idea but it sounds good.

On Saturday morning I drifted awake with an hour spare until I had to go to work. About 45 minutes into this hour, I was informed that my mum had missed her train to work and had taken my car in order to get there. It was a good job I rigged up a car bomb the night before just in case this situation were to come about. I’ll tell the insurance company it was a fire.

I then had to go to work on the bus. I didn’t pay though cause I stole an old bloke’s buspass and stapled it to the driver’s forehead. Some fat guy sat next to me, despite me shouting at him to fuck off. Joke’s on him, I gave him SARS.

I got to work and the front door was locked, luckily I had my pocket rocket launcher with me. My first attempt was a bit off target and hit a feminist. Bonus.

On Sunday I went sledging in Wales in my Hazcar. There was great potential for laughter but no-one got seriously injured so the laughing was limited. I laughed at everyone anyway, because that’s how good I am.

After returning from the birthplace of the retard (Wales), my grandparents came round for tea. I missed top gear. Or more accurately, top gear missed me. I rule.

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